Wonder Wonder Wonder..

I've been debating lately exactly why I'm writing the things that I do. Why do I write about my life? I write truthfully. I sometimes think of the letters I type to make words as a voice in my head. Ever do that? It's the reason that reading is so much more entertaining than watching a movie. That's not the point though. I write for me, but what's with me wanting to check to see if anyone has read it?

Yup.. I'm weird.

Grow Up?

Rammstein is my second favorite band of all time. I found out a little over a week ago that they will be playing at Madison Square Garden in NY. On United States soil. First time since 2001 that they will have done so. I want to go. Badly.

I plotted in many different ways on how to get there, how to get my parents to agree, where I would be staying, how I would get work to accommodate a weekend in December for me to be out of town. Yea, lots of thought has been put into this trip. A trip that I will have to put on hold. A dream trip, one that is probably a once in a lifetime opportunity. Why? Reality folks. That little bitch that ruins all daydreams and fantasies. Responsibilities are what comes with reality. And I have much on my plate that I must take care of.

My debt to my parents, my schooling, my job.. I unfortunately cannot put these things on hold for a 3 day trip in December. It makes me sad that I can't go see them. When will I ever get that chance again?

Guess I'm growing up.

Nightmare Weekend And It's End

This past weekend was, for better or worse, a nightmare. Only thing that made me sane was a slight breakdown and a visit to Bear's.

Saturday night was a freaking nightmare at work. Every single show of the Social network was 97% full and as I predicted I was going to close concessions. Two of us clocked on at 6pm. I was closing at 2:30am and my coworker was scheduled until 1am. It all started when we had to take our breaks two and a half hours into our shifts, one after the other. I figured since I was getting off work an hour and a half later than him, logically I should take mine second, but we got into a small argument over it and I ended up taking mine first. Whatever. I got back from break and we were slammed for three hours straight. Supposedly for a set like what was going in at that time we were supposed to have all 16 registers open. We had seven. We even had someone call out that night who was supposed to be our PA, which is the person who is "point accountable". Yaaaaaaaaaaay, fun times.. *sigh*

My coworker and I worked our asses off to close the concession stand somewhat early, it was 1:45 by the time I was completely finished. I thought I was done, boy was I wrong. I had to make some caramel corn for the next day because we were completely out. I worked until 2:40am. Made a bag and a half of caramel corn. Most people would have only make half a bag, if that. I felt like I worked two shifts into one. I mean, we all get kicked around during our shifts. We seat, porter, run in concessions, work 3D.. sometimes all in the same shift. But with the amount of work I put into, well... work that night I felt like I had shoved a 16 hour shift into one eight hour shift. I came home drenched in sweat, so tired I was having trouble driving, which isn't a good thing. I was safe and everything, just tired.

When I got home I called Bear. I just needed to hear a friendly voice, some compassion. I was so frustrated I cried. I'm trying so hard to get my life together. Sometimes I feel as if it's not worth it, no one really cares if I do well, they only care when I mess up. At least it feels like that. Anyway, we've had plans to get together for lunch on Sunday. I needed it, needed to see him. Just to feel him hold me, to be near him. I cried myself to sleep that night.

I woke up on Sunday and I felt like shit. I needed to wash my work clothes, I needed to shower, I was at ends with my mom.. I just wanted to crawl back under the covers and hide from the world. After I finished my washing my uniform, showered, and got everything together I left for Bear's. Only on the way there I realized I left my freaking work shoes at home. It was a good thing home was on the way to work from Bear's house. I got to Bear's and the first thing I did was walk in the door and give him a kiss. Then I fell into the circle of his arms and stayed there for minutes on end. I needed this, this right here. To be held and feel like I mattered to anyone, someone. I cried, this time because I felt a warm wave of happiness through me.

"You have no idea how much I just wanted to do this last night, just hold you in my arms."

I cried a little more when he said that. Just to feel as if I'm special to someone, that I belong somewhere, and that somewhere was right there, in his arms, holding me close to his heart. I once read that we all have two eyes, two ears, two hands, two sides of a brain.. but only one heart. Our main focus in this world, whether you believe it or not, is to find the other heart that belongs with yours. I think I found mine. We stayed like that, just embracing for awhile. We then heated up leftover pizza and ate. Then we went up to his room and just laid there for awhile, chatting about random things. Whatever popped into our heads.

And yes, it did lead to some happy time, but it was needed. We were both dealing with stressful times.

I was happy after that and not just because of that. It was because of the emotion that went into it. The sincerity of those feelings. Everything done is an expression because of the extent of our love for one another.

Alright, enough sappiness from me.

Last night we went to go see Easy A. It was me, Bear, and Dreamer. The movie was HYSTERICAL. Definitely one I will go see again. I need to take my mom to see it after all.

That's it for now I suppose. I have work again tonight. I wonder what I'll be doing? It's a 5-10 shift, so most likely concessions once again.

Ciao.

Exhausted

I'm so bummed out. My body is extremely tired and sore. I was up for 20 hours yesterday. I woke up early for a test I had to take in my 9am class, so I was up since 7am and after getting home from closing at the Dream Factory I went to bed about 3:15am. Stupid people who worked snackbar yesterday, so eager to get out of there that they left their stations completely unstocked for the next day. Is it really that hard? Make sure your water, ice creams, and candy is stocked before you freaking leave! That way the two closers don't have to stay over what's scheduled and alomst fall asleep on the road during the drive home.

The Social Network is doing amazingly well. Every show was sold out, even our 21+ showing! I have a feeling since I closed auditorium side last night I'm gonna be closing snackbar tonight.

*sigh* I just want to relax, but I have too much to do until I go back tonight. Cleaning, laundry, studying.. it just never ends.

Follow Up

So last Friday wasn't so bad at work.. At least it was a shorter shift. I met up with Boots and her entourage for the night at around midnight and chilled. I was sad that I couldn't join in on the drinking and festivities, but I had to be up and back at work at 9:30am.

On Sat I was dropped off at work so I could be picked up by my friends and go straight to the Muse concert. I was scheduled for snackbar.. eek! At least that was my first thought. It wasn't as horrible as the images in my head as to how the day would go by. I was constantly doing something, but people are so stupid. When did common sense leave the masses? People will stand in line for 5 minutes and have that entire time to look at our menu. Anytime they ask if we have nachos, Dr. Pepper, Mr. Pibb, Icees, or a medium sized anything, I just want to look them straight in the eye and say, "Did you even look at the fucking menu?" And for the people who are "members" of our theater, get a damned membership card! I hate taking up so much time looking up 3 different phone numbers, having YOU misspell your last name to me, and finally looking up your email that you registered with just so you can get 3 points on your account. It's a waste of my time, your time, and the time of the 7 groups of people in line behind you. I would appreciate it if you got the card that it takes not 1 second to swipe and avoid all the yelling just to get the points so you can save $5 on something three months down the road.

After I cashed and clocked out, I got ready within minutes and headed downstairs to wait to get picked up by my friends. Tonight was the Muse concert! I was jittery all day in anticipation of the event. I decided to dress up a bit and apparently I did a good job of it because I saw some coworkers on the way down while hey were heading into work and they were like "daaaaaaaaaamn girl." They were both girls, in case you were wondering.

The concert itself was AMAZING. Muse rocked Staples Center like no other. I had a small case of whiplash the next day so work was interesting, but I got to work the caramel corn station so I wasn't complaining. I love making the caramel corn at work. It beats dealing with customers all day and I can confidently say that I'm the best at making caramel corn at work. Not only do I make it well, but I also am the quickest. More than once I've heard the phrase "you're like a machine!" said to me about how fast I make caramel corn. I was thinking about why that was and the reason I've come up with is this - I actually work at making caramel corn. When other people get the shift, they use the time as a way to relax at work and take their time. I make the most of my time in that little cubicle-like station and get done what needs to be done.

After work I rushed home to put the finishing touches on Bear's birthday present. I was making him a scrapbook of all the things we've done since we've been together. I was very nervous to give it to him. Everyone I told about it to get their opinion said he would love it. I had those closest to me help to get started working on the project and I love the way it turned out. When he opened it there was nothing but smiles and laughter coming from him as he flipped through the pages, reminiscing about the times we've had since we met. And they have been nothing but "good times" as Bear would say.

Monday I had the follow-up with my the dermatology department for the state of my cyst, which has pretty much gone away due to the work of the antibiotics. When I had originally gone to see the doctor, it was inflamed and swelled up to the size of a quarter and thick as a small rock. My doctor send a referral to dermatology saying he wanted them to excise it, which is understandable due to the state of it when I first went in. By the time the antibiotics did their job, my skin was smooth and the cyst was just a dark spot under my skin. The dermatologist took a look at it and pretty much said that excising it would not be necessary because these cysts are not typically recurring. Sounds good to me! I don't need to have my armpit cut open and have stitches for a few days. That would have been a pain. I also had gotten my shift covered for that night so, yay, no work for me!

Also on Monday I went to go look at new phones with my mom because mine is literally falling apart. I took good care of that phone, too. I ended up getting the Samsung Reality. Stupid technology, I had to buy a data plan with it costing us $10 more a month even though I don't use internet and other applications on my phone. But apparently the phone wouldn't work without a data plan? Right. Money-grubbing bastards.

Tuesday was class and work. Wednesday was long day of classes and I actually met up with an old high school friend by chance. I have not spoken to her since we graduated and honestly, other than some posts on Facebook, lost all contact with her. We spent an hour and a half before my class on Wednesday catching each other up on the other's life. It was really "mint" as my English online friend would say. We plan to get together soon and go rollerskating. She apparently loves the rink as much as I do!

Last night I spent my girl's night with Boots. We watched Golden Girls, chatted away, watched the new episode of The Big Bang Theory, went to Wal-Mart for photo frames for her and I got new perfume and alarm clock. We shared a Kit-Kat and just had fun. I studied a bit for test I just took today and I think I did really well on. If I got anything less than a B on the test I really need to shoot myself in the foot because I knew majority of what was on that test.

Well, that's it for now. I work closing at the Dream Factory tonight and Saturday night. Blah, no fun. Oh well, at least I have a job and am making money for the Rammstein show I'm hopefully going to in December!!! First time since 2001 that they will be playing on United States soil. Why does it have to be in New York, all the way across the freaking country!! I'm going to try my hardest to go. Who knows if I'll ever get the chance to see them in concert again? Hell, when will they ever play in the United States again?

Update on Bubbles' Life

So, true to my word, I shall update anyone who actually reads this on my life. I left of leaving you in dire anticipation (ok, maybe not, but I'd like to think so) of what became of my school schedule and how the very gross cyst was doing on my underarm. So lets begin:

My school schedule has been solidified and set in stone. I actually managed to get the classes I wanted, needed, and in the times I wanted them. The perfect trifecta! It worried me a little bit because in my experience NOTHING runs that smoothly without crap happening right after to screw up my life. Nothing bad happened this time though and now the only school related stress I have is doing well in those classes. Such a relief! I got some sleep caught up on, schoolwork caught up on, and went to work with a better and clearer head on my shoulders. I still have been closing a lot, but since I finally got my school schedule settled, I put in a new availability sheet and can work during the week during specific hours.

Now, onto that stupid little cyst. I went to the doctor's and they diagnosed it as a sebaceous cyst. I took the antibiotics they prescribed me and after 10 days of taking 2 pills a day, it went down completely. All that's left is my appointment with dermatology to get the sac that the fluid from the cyst was in taken out. Here's where I get angry. Not with the doctor's office, but with work.

At work, we have weekly sheets where you can request a day off. If you need to request less than 2 days off in a row, we have to sign up on those request sheets. I find it lame that we have to wait until the week before an event if we just want 1 day off to know if we can even get the day off. Hope that makes sense to you, cause it really does make me angry.

This weekend I have a lot of stuff going on that I wanted to get days off for. I rarely ask for days off. Today (9/24) is my best friend's birthday! Happy birthday Boots :D Tomorrow Tallboy bought me, Boots, Bear, and himself tickets to go see Muse in concert! I'm so excited for that. Sunday is Bear's birthday and I can't wait to give him his gift. I've been working on it for a week, but only started putting it together two days ago. It's turning out great, I just hope he likes it. It's a huge gamble and I'm going for the odds. My appointment with Dermatology to get the sac taken out is Monday.

Anyway, back to my point. I asked for Friday off, Saturday off, a mid-shift on Sunday, and Monday off. I got scheduled Friday night, Saturday during the day, Sunday during the day, and in the evening on Monday.

Fuck.

I can deal with Friday night, I just really didn't want to miss yet another night out with Boots, especially on her birthday. She understands and I think her for understanding. I'm going to try and see if I can leave a little early, but with 4 opening movies last week and another 4 opening this week, I highly doubt it. I also can't wait until her present comes in the mail, she's really going to like it. Saturday was just NOT going to happen. I did the best I could to fix the situation and the best I could do was switch for an opening shift instead of a day shift so that I could still go to the Muse concert and celebrate the birthdays of the two closest people to me who are not blood relatives, or my dogs. I love my doggies :D And seriously, when am I ever going to get the chance to see Muse in concert?

To quote Orchy, "But I digress.." Hehe.

Sunday was the only day that I was granted what I wanted, a mid-shift during the day. I can see Bear after work and give him his present.. oooooooooooh I'm so excited to give it to him, but like I mentioned before I'm still very nervous to give it to him. Monday, that was the second biggest scheduling conflict that mad me angry. I have my Dermatology appointment like I mentioned earlier. Let's see.. getting my underarm numbed, cut open, and sewn back together and then going to work? I don't think so. Just a little bit earlier today I managed to find a coworker who would take my Monday shift. Thank goodness. I have been trying since Tuesday night when the schedule came out to find coverage.

Wow, that was a lot to write and think back on.

Oh! I passed my first Chemistry test with a 92%. Woot! I didn't do so well on my first Food Science test, but I have been doing well on the homework assignments so I think I'll be alright. I just need to study a little harder. I should also be focusing a little more on my Sociology class, thinking about that one has kind of gone by the wayside from my core classes.

Bad Bubbles, baaaaaaaaad.

Meep

I realize I have not written for awhile. Not that I don't want to, I've just been extremely busy. School, work, studying, studying, school.. and throwing in friends and Bear into the mix somewhere. I hereby promise to write more.

That's for you Orchy :)