Let It Out

Bear just left my house. I had asked him to come over after work, which means he showed up at my house about 10:20pm. It's amazing how wonderful he is. I've been so worked up about school and how I need to tell my parental units about it, that I can't do it anymore. I've gotten myself so worked up I'm hitting a breaking point and I needed to tell some one. That someone always turns out to be Bear. He's so supportive and understanding, I'm not entirely sure that I could have gotten through some of the events in the past year without his help. Without him being there.

Me being sappy again. Yipe.

Anyway, he came over and said hi to my Mom and doggies. This was the first time that he's been able to see them since they came back from visiting my Grandma in Arizona. I grabbed a glass of water and we went to my room so that I could talk to him. I didn't want my Mom to hear any of it until I'm ready to tell both her and my Dad about the whole situation. So, I let it all out. How afraid I am, how unsure everything feels. I don't know how my parents will react. I don't exactly know how I will react when I tell them. I've wasted so much time and so much of their money that I get depressed thinking about it. I am depressed thinking about it, or at least I was until I told Bear everything. He know just how to reassure me whenever I feel my worst.

"I'm still not going anywhere hun."

"I'm not worried about you."

"Whatever you decide, I'll be right behind you."

"Sometimes you just need a good cry."

"Whatever happens, you have people around you who love and want you to be happy."

These are just a few of the things he says to me. I cried my frustrations and sadness, I cried out of happiness and from the love I felt. He held me, just like I needed him to. We laid on my bed and cuddled, talked about random things that came up. Talked about his day at work. Talked about my situation a little more. Talked about the great night we spent at his aunt and uncle's place yesterday. Relaxed and snuggled for a few. No talking this time, just relaxing and being wrapped in his arms. The comfort I had was astounding. He left a little after that. Had to go home and eat and sleep. Normally I try and keep him at my place for as long as possible, but he had had a long day and needed to go. I was just happy he came over and gave me the chance to talk to him about my inner turmoil.

I've never had that before. A caring boyfriend, what a novel idea. But, he is and I'm eternally grateful to have him in my life.