Beginning December, Foodie Style

So I've been a vegetarian for a little over a month now. It's going well. I've needed to blog for awhile now and I've been neglecting to do so. Too much going now to even cover the beginnings of what's on in my life. What's new with you, if anyone's even reading this?

Edit 10 Minutes Later:

I decided I should do a food blog since I discovered that people read more things about food or experiences. Why not combine the two?! I know, most amazing idea ever, right? Here's the edible foods I've tried so far:

Salsa Chickpea Lettuce Wraps - my favorite at the moment

Tofu Scramble - not bad actually

Chili-Lime Corn Chips - I need to watch my oven on this one, first I made them too wimpy, but that was because I used too many corn tortillas. The second time I crisped them too much. I need a middle ground.

Rootbeer Float Cupcakes - I think they're delicious! Might use Dr. Pepper to please more people next time. Not sure why people like carbonated prune juice. It's a mystery!

Black Bean Brownies - now these were really delicious. Completely vegan and flour free.

Mediterranean Tofu - I originally didn't see that this served 4 in the recipe it gave me. Needless to say, I made too much. It was an ok recipe. Tweaking needed!

Chocolate Espresso Oatmeal Cookies - HUGE hit at my work!!

Do you read it NOW? Teehee.

Good and Bad Things

Yesterday was an amazing beginning to my week. Although it suck big hairy monkey balls that I have to wake up at 6am to get up for my 8am Organic Chemistry class, I got to come home and meet up with Bear. We stayed in bed for awhile and let me say, I missed him dearly. We went to breakfast after that and it was wonderful. We haven't been able to go to out to breakfast in awhile. I've been busy with school and work. Him with work mostly. He works too much for that company and I'm not sure if they knew what  gem the have in my man. Take today for example. It's supposed to be Bear's day off and we had plans to go the the movies. Would have probably made it into a double feature. I was going to go to the store and get the ingredients for my Cracked Wheat Waffle with Blueberry syrup recipe and surprise him with breakfast.

Sadly, anytime I have a great idea to have a to have an amazing ngiht or day with my Bear, his work calls and goes "nope! You can't have fun today. You have to cover someone else's mistake, do me a favor, etc'. At least that's what it feels like anyway. It happened last week as well. My old friend Bright Eyes from high school had an extra ticket for Bear to come with us to screen the latest Big Bang Theory episode. He was supposed to get off work at 5:30pm, but had gotten approval from his ASM to leave at 4:30 instead. What ended up happening? He had to stay to close the store to cover for anther manager who decided not to show up.

That night didn't turn out so horrid though. Bright Eyes and I didn't end up making it in to the screening with our stand-by tickets, so she took me to the delicious burger place called Umami Burger. It is hands down the best burger restaurant I've ever been to. A little on the expensive side, but it was worth it. It's in Hollywood somewhere. I think. Whatever. It was delicious, that's all I know.

So what will I do with the rest of my day? I was debating still going and catching a movie. Not sure if I'll do it, might not have the energy or right mind to. I hate going to movies by myself. Will catch up on some laundry and cleaning. Do some chores as a favor to my Mom. In the evening I have a couple of friends coming over for a girl's night. Pizza, drinks, and a movie at home. That might just be the pick me up I need for this crappy day.

Let's Try This Again Shall We?

This is long overdue. I hope everyone had a wonderful summer. Mine was full of fun times, breakdowns, concerts, friends, food, drinks, and of course work at the Dream Factory. There was one moment that stuck out in my head as the best day of the summer. The 4th of July. That day was the first time that my parents and Bear's parents and his Aunt and Uncle were able to get together. We played games and had tons of laughs as well as fun discussions. It was great to see our families getting along and to see my parents smiling. That was my happiest day of summer. It also helped that I didn't have to work.

What can I say to catch anyone up on what's going on in my life? Unless you've been here, there's so much to tell, but I shall do my best to sum up the events of my life in the past three months.

I've worked my ass off at the Dream Factory. Paychecks were nice for awhile, but now we're entering slow movie season. Paychecks will be less sweet. I've finally managed to pay my parents back the astounding $1100 I've owed them for sometime now. I am back in college this semester even though I decided I hadn't wanted to go back. I'm taking Organic Chemistry and repeating a public speaking class. I've also kept up with my painting. For those of you that don't have me on fb, here's links to what I have done thus far:

The Rose: http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/247537_10150201918491020_701691019_7508068_3702546_n.jpg

Keyhole in the Sky: http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/261697_10150205366446020_701691019_7538022_5400119_n.jpg

Dark Side of the Moon tribute: http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/251621_10150244655816020_701691019_7845114_6746975_n.jpg

Hammer Banner, another tribute to Pink Floyd: http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/223033_10150244655696020_701691019_7845113_2270684_n.jpg

Ghostbusters logo: http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s720x720/295841_10150264878411020_701691019_8054512_3332143_n.jpg

Celtic Love Knot: http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s720x720/301683_10150264878626020_701691019_8054514_3916207_n.jpg

California Poppy: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150275729041020&set=a.10150185393076020.305549.701691019&type=1&permPage=1

As I list these, I realize that art has kept me busy as well as somewhat sane over the summer from my own inner turmoil. I need to exercise again for the sake of my own health. I'm 5'1 and I weigh an ungodly 190 lbs. I feel disgusting in my own skin. Body image issues much?

I've also tried out some gardening. I grew little tomatoes, but when work go the best of me, I forgot about them and the plants died. That also goes for the baby plants of pumpkin, sunflower, and corn. Yes, I feel bad. Yes, I am going to try again. I refuse to give up until I grow the yummiest foodage to eat!

Summer Project

While I do realize I owe myself a post-Rammstein blog, I'm still trying to figure out how to resize the pictures to make them fit in the blog. While I am in the generation that usually knows all about computers, I'm still not very tech savvy. In fact, I'm a technological disaster. Bear would disagree and he's welcome to, I know I tend to make computers go poof. As you may know I've been trying out some of the more creative activities, such as writing, painting, and growing. Now I tackle another project. Not so creative a project, but there must be some creativity otherwise it won't work. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand the project is:

My room.

I have a very small room into which I cram many things. From books to record players. Papers to paintings. Boxes (empty ones for some odd reason) to jewelry. Knick-knacks to clothing. Name it, I probably have something close to it in my room. Candles. Gaming consoles. A chair, bed, dresser, entertainment center, computer stand, bookshelves, and a trash can. I must reiterate, I have a VERY small room. All this stuff makes for very minimal walking room. The door is right next to the left wall. Walk into my room and you see my bed pressed against the far wall and left wall, the foot of the bed about 5 feet from the doorway. On the right of the doorway against the wall with the doorway is a bookshelf about three feet wide and a foot deep (looks about that way from where I'm sitting anyway). On the other side of the bookshelf is my double door closet which is really only that wide, the width of the doors themselves about about 2 feet deep. All that's left on that wall is 1 foot of space. My trash can in the the corner of the front and right wall, next to the dresser on the right wall.

Oh, there are also windows on the left and right walls.

Next to the dresser about a half a foot away is the entertainment center, I'd say approximately 5 feet wide. It houses many things, including the mentioned record player and gaming consoles, plus a T.V., Blu-Ray player, various vinyls, cds, cassettes, VHS's, a working VHS machine, some sort of radio equalizer I think (not sure, it's my father's), and probably several pounds of keepsakes in the cabinet underneath the T.V. In between the wall and the entermaint center i about a half a fot of space which houses a sub-wolfer on the floor that is no longer in use but continues to stay there. On the far wall in front of the entertainment center is two small shelves thart contain my rather small but lovable movie collection. They're each about a foot wide. Directly adjacent to that is the computer stand which is about 2.5 feet wide. Directly adjacent to the head of my bed.

We've now come full circle. A small cramped room with lots of random stuff and trash which I just haven't thrown away yet. While I don't consider myself a slob, I am a messy person. It's somewhat of an organized mess. Trash mostly over here, boxes there, books stacked in the corner. The clothes though, now THAT'S my downfall. They're everywhere. Nothing shall be safe from the clothing! Ok maybe I'm a bit tired. It's almost 1am afterall. Stupid work, giving me bad sleep habits. I debated beginning work on my room at this late in the night. Parents and doggies are asleep so there's no one to harass me, but where's the fun in that? I can't get distracted by my lovely doggies wiggling their butts? No home cooked meal to make me follow my nose out of the chaos of my room? No movie playing in the living room, promising to be more entertaining than cleaning?

Blasphemy.

Rammstein Painting

Rammstein logo I painted. Done free hand and only the third painting I've ever done.

Do Over

I need a do over. Restart. Is there a restart button? Or maybe I can power off, wait 10 seconds and start fresh. It's becoming a little too much to handle. I'm starting to breakdown a little bit. I should be doing everything, but I want to do nothing. I just want to live.

And this isn't living.

Let It Out

Bear just left my house. I had asked him to come over after work, which means he showed up at my house about 10:20pm. It's amazing how wonderful he is. I've been so worked up about school and how I need to tell my parental units about it, that I can't do it anymore. I've gotten myself so worked up I'm hitting a breaking point and I needed to tell some one. That someone always turns out to be Bear. He's so supportive and understanding, I'm not entirely sure that I could have gotten through some of the events in the past year without his help. Without him being there.

Me being sappy again. Yipe.

Anyway, he came over and said hi to my Mom and doggies. This was the first time that he's been able to see them since they came back from visiting my Grandma in Arizona. I grabbed a glass of water and we went to my room so that I could talk to him. I didn't want my Mom to hear any of it until I'm ready to tell both her and my Dad about the whole situation. So, I let it all out. How afraid I am, how unsure everything feels. I don't know how my parents will react. I don't exactly know how I will react when I tell them. I've wasted so much time and so much of their money that I get depressed thinking about it. I am depressed thinking about it, or at least I was until I told Bear everything. He know just how to reassure me whenever I feel my worst.

"I'm still not going anywhere hun."

"I'm not worried about you."

"Whatever you decide, I'll be right behind you."

"Sometimes you just need a good cry."

"Whatever happens, you have people around you who love and want you to be happy."

These are just a few of the things he says to me. I cried my frustrations and sadness, I cried out of happiness and from the love I felt. He held me, just like I needed him to. We laid on my bed and cuddled, talked about random things that came up. Talked about his day at work. Talked about my situation a little more. Talked about the great night we spent at his aunt and uncle's place yesterday. Relaxed and snuggled for a few. No talking this time, just relaxing and being wrapped in his arms. The comfort I had was astounding. He left a little after that. Had to go home and eat and sleep. Normally I try and keep him at my place for as long as possible, but he had had a long day and needed to go. I was just happy he came over and gave me the chance to talk to him about my inner turmoil.

I've never had that before. A caring boyfriend, what a novel idea. But, he is and I'm eternally grateful to have him in my life.

Thoughts, Vol. ?

I'm fighting back lots of different emotions right now. Most of them dealing with a root of sadness. It's been there, for weeks on end. I'm coming to a point where I have to deal with why I have these feelings. I'm just scared to. It means talking with the parental units. I don't know how they'll take to my news. No, I'm not pregnant. Though, it does deal with my future. Future education that is. I've written about it before, but it goes a little deeper than what I've let on. I have a major distaste for the formal education I've been exposed to for the past four years. Everything is about making sure that you graduate, not for the reason that you have learned what you've come to learn and are ready for working in the world. No, who would ever want that?

No, they want you to graduate strictly for the fact that they need to make room for new students. This means passing classes with no less than a C average, which means that you really haven't learned much at all in the class. You can sort of talk about the subject that you've taken two or three times. You can graduate with a D in a class if it's not required in your major, the units still count towards the allotted amount you need. It's not about learning anymore, it's a damn factory line and they aren't producing anything good anymore.

It's depressing.

I think I'd need something, some outlet. I'm trying some more creative stuff, I'm hoping that will help. The focus it takes to do some of those more creative projects is ideal for peace of mind.

I need some peace of mind.

The Puzzle

I've been having problems staying motivated to do well in college for a bit. Well, more than a bit. I'd say for about the past two years. Or even longer, I'm not entirely sure. I've voiced it to Bear, the fact that I'm not motivated enough. He knows I'm smart, I know I am too. So.. why can't I just do well? That's the question right there. One I've been trying to answer for about a year now.

I was talking with Bear last night and I think I've finally hit answer in the face - I'm going to college for others, not myself. I'm trying to live up to others expectations and it's gotten me nowhere. The only time I've done well in school is when I was playing soccer at the same time. I had a blast during those days. Soccer practice three days a week, games two days a week, exhaustion and a clear mind while doing homework. Music playing in the background while the busy work from school got done. Late nights staying up, satisfied by finishing a project or paper. Reading before class lectures so I would know what the heck was going on. Participating in class discussions. I used to do it all. Now, I don't want to do it anymore. I want my life to move forward, not be stuck in classroom after classroom listening to teachers who don't want to teach. Listening to other students ask the most ridiculous questions. Writing papers, solving problems, doing projects.

I'm tired of it all.

I need to find something, an outlet for my frustration. I've been trying some creative stuff lately. I've gotten a little into painting. I have two small tomato plants growing in the backyard. I've been doing this writing thing for over a year now. The things that make me feel sane are having a job and Bear. I like my job, I really do. As I may have mentioned in past blogs, or maybe not, I'm never really sure anymore, I want to do something in the realm of services. Whether it be teaching, still working at the theaters, owning my own shop, or maybe even writing novels, I want to do something that will give a little happiness to others. Bear.. he's something so special I can't describe it. He's supported me through so much mental drama of my own. I'm so madly in love with him I don't know how I would have gotten through some of the times he's helped me with. We keep growing closer together by the day. The night I met him I felt an amazing connection that I had never felt in my life. Times with him have only gotten better since.

I once created a small line of teddy bears. I had the drawings and everything laid out. They were death bears. Simple idea: think of ways to die and create a bear depicting that death. They were fun to draw. I've never made them though. I know there are death dolls out there, wish I had known about those years earlier, I want them! They're so cute! If you've never seen them, here's an example: http://crackedreality.com/inferno.html

Anyway, that's all I have on my mind at the moment. Oh. Bear spent the night again last night. It was perfect.

Childish?

I'm feeling childish. I got a text from Bear saying he was going with Tallboy to see Thor. I got the text at the minute my shift ended. It made me annoyed. Him and his bff went to see Thor without me. More to the point, Bear went without me. Like I don't want to see one of the biggest early summer blockbusters? It JUST came out this weekend! I can take all my friends to see it for free, yet they went to see it without me. This is so stupid. Why is this bothering me so much?

I was talking to Orchy a little bit ago. I think I just miss Bear. My parentals are out of town for a few days and he slept over last night. I feel asleep in his arms and woke up that way. It felt so amazing I have no words for it. And I want it again. Again and again.

I'm home alone. No dogs to cuddle with. No one to snuggle with. No one to talk to. Alone.

Orchy said what was the point of being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes? I don't have an answer to that. Not sure if anyone does, or ever will.

Apologies

I know it has been weeks since my last entry and I do apologize to anyone who does read this crap and to myself, cause I feel guilty about not writing. Those of you who do know me know that I do love writing. I do have several things I must touch upon when I do sit down and log my life into a computer screen. First off, I went to the Renaissance Faire. Let's see.. there's also the Six Flags trip and a few other things I could probably come up with. In the meantime, have a great weekend all! And Happy Mother's Day

:)

Veggie Style

Been debating for the past couple days if I should try out going vegetarian for 30 days. Or maybe just a vegetable inclined diet? I don't know. I need to relearn how to eat healthy. I know what to eat to be healthy, but I've lost sight on putting it into practice. I have no idea where to start though. Do eggs count as being bad a vegetarian? What about milk? Fish? So have no idea where to start!

On another note, this looks delicious :D

Something I Wrote For Another Blog

My friends and coworkers have a blog that I love to read because they have many different contributors and I decided to become one of them, at least for this weeks theme. Let's hope that my story gets chosen to be put up. If not, then here is my story, written in the appropriate 20 minute time alloted. Their blog is called Writing, Writer, Writest.. here's the link: http://writingwriterwritest.blogspot.com/

'I’ve been following Writing, Writer, Writest almost since it began. I think it started a little after my own blog. I never really thought about writing a blog before last year. I was talking with my friend Mikey from Seattle. He writes all the time and now makes a slightly bearable living off of transcribing jobs. I’m jealous in a way. I’ve always wanted to write since I was little kid. I was the girl with her nose in a book, being pround of reading a 150 page book in a week when I was in 5^th grade. No pictures! I had a best friend, her name was Houng. We bought, read and shared books, then went the library together and checked out books and shared those. I remember being on a bus for a field trip, having a copy of my Mom’s Stephen King book Nightmare & Dreamscapes in hand. It’s a short story book. My Mom would read those stories to me and let me read them to her. I still remember my favorite story. It’s called Suffer the Little Children.. very creepy story. It’s about a teacher who finds her students to be monstrous things and they get revenge on her. I don’t remember all the details. Maybe I should go back and read it again. There was also a story called House on Maple Street. Somehow it turned out to be an alien ship that all of a sudden took off in the middle of the night.

I loved all sorts of stories when I was little. I’m still an avid reader to this day. Which is why it pisses me off when all Hollywood can do is make movies from a book and butcher the hell out of it. Can’t people have their own imagination fill in the blanks rather than have someone else’s vision shoved in their face? Don’t get me wrong, I love movies. But I would rather see an original movie than a movie based off a book. All it makes me want to do is go read the book. Which is loads better than the movie.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my life lately and what I want from it. What I want to get out of it. What seems to make me happy and what doesn’t. Recently I’ve come to the somewhat wavering conclusion that college isn’t for me. Not yet anyway. I look at my boyfriend and he’s very accomplished when it comes to getting those pieces of paper that our society seems to think validates our so called “intelligence”. He has a Bachelor’s Degree in both economics and political science (he double majored) and just got his Master’s Degree in public administration. I’m so very proud of him and also a little jealous. I can’t stand being in college classes, I feel stuck.

I think I want to go to a culinary school. I want to work with food. Perhaps open up a restaurant of my own someday, maybe a bakery too. I’d need someone to help me manage it. I love cooking and honestly, serving people is fun for me. Sure, there are people out there that are jus t plain rude and have an entitlement mentality, but I love seeing smiles on people’s faces. I love getting compliments about my service. I get annoyed when the people around me don’t take it seriously. With the job that I have right now, the service needs to be top notch. I’d love to get into the kitchen at work. I’ve worked at a movie theater for almost a year now and come to think of it I should be farther than I am. I’ve been content at where I am for too long. I need to shoot for bigger and better things.

The only thing I know for sure in life is what I feel for my boyfriend, who I hope someday wants more. I won’t say it to him, not just yet. I love him very much and he loves me. I just want us to go farther. I wonder if he’s thought about it.. maybe.

My twenty minutes is up. Thanks for letting me unload the things on my mind.'

Insidious

Most of the people who know me know that I'm a horror movie fan. It's my favorite genre and good horror movies are hard to come by. I'm not exactly sure if it's because they can't come up with anything remotely creative or the majority of people just want cheap thrills. I was excited for Insidious, it looked like a really good movie, it had a great premise.



And while it looked good, there were only a few scenes in the movie that actually held my attention. Majority of it was laughable, as could be told by the entire theater cracking up through half of the movie. Honestly, save yourself the trouble and wait for it to be available on streaming video. It's good for a late night night laugh.

Oh April, Why Must You Hate Me?

The month is only four days long and already I've had one monster of a day. It didn't start out that way though. And not all my days have been bad. First, let me back track to day 1.

April 1st, otherwise known as April Fool's Day. I'm too lazy to look up the reason why it's Fool's Day, will someone enlighten me? Anywho.. I did absolutely nothing Friday morning and during the early part of the afternoon. Why? I had to work at 5pm. I pretty much just washed my work clothes. I was listed to be the Runner in our cafe, which means I run the food out to the table once it's ready to go. At first, I pleaded with my Busser (the one who cleans the tables afterwards) to switch with me because it was FRIDAY night and I hadn't had a running shift yet to try out my plate balancing skills (we rarely use the trays to carry out food). He made a good point where I would have to learn sometime and if it did get too hard to handle, that he would be willing to switch only then. As the night would have it, the kitchen backlogged all the orders and he had to do it, if only to get the food out quicker because our kitchen staff is retarded! Needless to say, it was a bad night. Good job April 1st, joke's on me.

Saturday didn't start out bad. In fact, the day was great until I went in to work. I woke up in the morning to find my parents making breakfast.. YUM! Dad was making his famous (in the family and to our friends) potatoes and Mom was making spinach and cheddar cheese omelette's. Freaking delicious dude. So I called up Bear and he joined us for breakfast. On his way here Mom realized that our milk went bad and so I asked him to pick up a thing of milk. Mom wanted to repay him so she tried giving him 5 bucks for the $3.77 half gallon. He refused to take it. Both our families are very nice but stubborn. So began a battle to give it to him without him noticing. Sadly, the $5 slipped into the slider part of his phone didn't work, as he found it after 5 minutes. It seems I had to get a bit sneakier. So I waited until he was just about to leave and I gave him a big ol' hug, I slipped it in his back pocket. I don't know if he's found it yet. He hasn't said anything if he has. Or has he and put it somewhere I don't know? We shall see.

After all that fun I went into work at 4. Work was just a nightmare. I was lead on the auditorium side, which is honestly the more difficult of the lead positions. In concessions you just stock the place and make sure everyone is on register. In the lobby you act as crowd control. In the auditoriums, you have to maintain a set of porters (those who clean the theaters after a movie gets out), restroom porters, seaters (for the movies that are going in because we have assigned seating where I work), a greeter (which is really the only position you don't have to worry about until they go on break), and all the problems that pop up that have to do with seating and guest complaints blah, blah..

Without going into too much detail, it was a bad fucking night.

Sunday, on the other hand was a much better day. I was working with one of my favorite crew members as my lead. She put me as greeter for the day knowing the real shit day I had the day before. Needless to say, I was happy and gave her many hugs for it. I love greeting, you get to stand in front of everyone and get to tell them to sit down, shut up, and keep their feet of the seats. Though the actual greet is worded in a much better and tactful way so as not to offend anyone. Once I got off work I was exhausted. Pretty sure the events of the previous day were catching up to me. I got off work, went home and changed, and went to Bear's. Once there I ate dinner (mmmmmmm pot roast) and fell asleep on his bed.. a few different times. I think I spent about 3 hours napping on and off, sometimes with Bear cuddles against me. Oh he's such a great boyfriend. I couldn't ask for a better man in my life. After I finally got up Bear let me create a character on Rift on a friends server so that we could play with her. Was fun as always. Then had some ice cream and went home to crash.

Today is day 4. I slept a good 8 hours and decided that I wanted to try out my new workout DVD. I love working out, I know I should do it more often. It makes me feel better. Also have to get ready for summer and for the Mud Run this June!

Ciao.

Things I'd Like To Do

I'd like to do many a-things. Recently I've been on a kind of DIY kick. For those of you who don't know, DIY stands for do-it-yourself. As you can tell I've gotten back into writing, somewhat. I'm studying nutrition and dietetics in college and have now been consistently attempting to make myself breakfast in the morning and food for the rest of the day. I have been very good about fixing breakfast for myself for over two months now and I'm starting to resist buying lunch at work by bringing my own from home. Seriously, you'd be surprised how much you can save yourself just by doing this. Sure, it's a little extra time spent at home actually doing something, but it pays off in the end.

Recently my craving for having a garden has increased since I learned how to make lemonade last year. I bought two books to help me sort through what I'd like to do and not do. Hopefully they'll help!

Write?

I always have the intention to write at least once a week. To do so even more often than that would be helpful. You see, I write more often than is actually posted because I get distracted. I should probably just show you.

From 2.10.11

Good morning!

So I've been feeling a little self-conscious lately. It's a little of a downward spiral. I've gained back a lot of weight from last summer. I know I should exercise but I can't really find the motivation to do so. My health should be my motivation. The Mud Run that I'm participating in once June comes around should also be a huge motivation. I can't wait until it does come around. Lucky and myself are running in it. First time in several years I'll have a running partner! Yay! I wish Bear would run with me, but he still has a torn ACL. He's been debating not getting the surgery because he's walking almost normally. The ACL is one of four major ligaments in the lower leg. It would bother me if he didn't get the surgery. I think he knows that, but ultimately it's his decision. I would be mighty upset though, lol. /end

From 2.14.11

Before I get started on Valentine's Day, which happens to be my Grandfather's Birthday as well, I want to talk about my work a little bit.

Yesterday work was a little interesting. I was scheduled at Ops 2, which translates into working with the actual theaters in the building. I was curious to see what area I'd be put in. It was either seating, portering (which is our way of saying cleaning up after people), greeting, dealing with 3D glasses, restroom portering, or ticket taking. Except for greeting and seating, I don't care much for the others. Luckily for me when I picked up the roster plan for the day, I was listed as a seater. Yay! I could deal with that. You know what.. restroom portering isn't so bad as long as you keep up with it. I'm one of the better restroom porters at work because I actually stay on top of keeping the woman's restrooms clean. I'll saunter back and forth between the main and back restrooms, taking my time to eat up my shift. At the end of my shift, I gotten no complaints and I know I've done my job. /end

From 3.7.11

There is a few things that I failed to touch upon during the month of February, including Valentine's Day and my Birthday.

Valentine's Day was really more a celebration of /end

As you can see, I DO write. It's more a matter of finishing what I begin. Not that I don't want to, I just get distracted very easily and then lose my train of thought. I'm also somewhat of a perfectionist when it comes to writing down what goes on in my brain that it's often hard to write down what I want to get across. Though as I see this blog as more of a journal than a hi-look-at-my-blog-too-don't-you-wanna-see-what-i'm-thinking type thing. Well to finish up several thoughts and begin new ones, there's only a few days I shall touch upon: Valentine's day, my birthday, the 13th of March at work, and St. Patrick's Day 2011. Let's begin.

Valentine's Day was really a celebration of my anniversary with Bear. To keep in line with my epic gift ideas, I did end up giving him that pocket watch I was debating on so much. He loved it. And this was the first gift I gave to him that I spent a good deal amount of money on. We're more into the get-me-something-not-monetary-value-but-sentimental-value gifts. Which is why we're working on the scrapbook so much. It's just fun. He helps me design the pages for the different days and I put everything into its permanent place. He got me this beautiful heart necklace, which I'll be honest, I wasn't into it at first. But it's very cute and accessorises well. It's on a long black cloth rope and is gold colored. It grew on me and I wore it for several days following that day. It was a great day spent just like last year, eating Subway sandwiches in the park and heading back home to just chill.

Good lord, it's already 1am.. must finish..

My birthday. One word: FUN! Bear and Boots planned a small get together at a place called Los Toros. Been there only once before and I really liked it. They're known for their Margaritas and chip 'n dip combo. I have several pictures of that on my fb. Unless you're a friend on mine already in there, no, I will not add you too see. Deal with it.

Not much went on during the days in between then and now. Pretty much was SSDD. For those you unfamiliar with the expression, it means Same Shit Different Day. Work, school, pay for gas. Work, school, see Boots. Work, school, see Bear. Repeat. Now as for March 13th.. I won't dwell on it too long otherwise it will just piss me off again. I worked the morning shift at work and when one of my coworkers came in a little after me, I knew something was wrong with him. He walked stiff but also had this air of "fuck off" about him. He was showing no emotion at all and was pretty much being rude to everyone. I mean, I know some people can have a bad day, but ffs it was still only 10:30 in the morning. Get the fuck over it. Not to mention later in the while trying deal with him and his interactions with other people at work, the fire alarm goes off.

Fire alarm in a movie theater. Not. Fun.

It went pretty smooth though. It was a false alarm and nothing we could prevent. Anyway, we got pretty much every back into their movies and got things rolling again. Luckily I was leaving and didn't have to deal with that specific coworker anymore, but I let my Lead coming in know about the situation with the fire alarm and also about the coworker. I asked her later how the rest of the day went. Man, I am SO glad I wasn't there. Apparently my coworker who had the stick up his ass started going nuts and yelling at people to hurry even though they had time to do what was needed before the next set of movies started. Whatever.

Onto a better note now! St.Patrick's Day was a lot of fun. I met up with Bear and we went to dinner at a cozy little place by my house. I love it there. Everything there I'd say is pretty much comfort food and it tastes AMAZING. I never leave dissatisfied. After dinner we headed out the Key Club in Hollywood to support a good friend of mine's band. They were fantastic. I also liked the band that played right before them. might just have to start following them. My friend's band played a rock version of Billy Jean. It was too fucking awesome.

Ok, I'm exhausted and trying to not get sick at the current moment so I think this is where I call it quits. Finally updated all my shit I wanted to. Quite a long blog I must say. Though really, it's several in one.

Night everyone. It is now 1:23am.

Blah

Crazy psycho social needs. Cabin fever sets in on those who cannot do what they like to do. Walls surround manic energy.

*sigh*

Think I'll go blow off some steam at the arcade. Maybe.

Edited 10:10pm

Cry cry cry, no one will hear you.

Get Cleaned Up!

Ok, so girls.. am I the only one in the world who doesn't wash her hair every single day? First off, it takes a lot of work to wash hair that's as long as mine! But let me tell you one thing, after a day or two without washing my hair and finally washing it.. OMG does my head feel nice. My hair shines and looks pretty again. Had to shower and look decent for work tonight, seeing as I'm working the Host Stand again. It's funny, at work they've been wanting the Lead for our third work area to look after the Host Stand because of budget reasons, but there's no way it's going to work. Both the Cafe and the third area get busy at the same times, the Lead can't look after both.

So, here goes me being Host once again tonight.

I'm sitting here watching Lord of the Rings: Return of the King with my dad. As I'm watching some of the battle scenes, I realized that my best friend's mom would HATE these movies because of all the abuse horses take. *shrug* Oh well.

Yea, I'm totally bored right now. Only another hour before I leave for work, yay! Let's see work from 5-11pm then home to sleep, wake up , shower, and go back at 9am. Got to love weekend schedules! At least I'm working, but I have to deal with all the fucking Bieber fans.. *shudder*

Gift Idea

I'm nervous.

I've been debating for awhile what to get Bear for a combined Valentine's Day/1 year anniversary gift. I was clueless. He keeps a journal, so for Christmas I bought him a leather bound one with a ambigram on the front. It was beautiful. To complete the gift, my parents bought him a fountain pen. He was so happy and wanted me to make the first entry. After much resistance, I made the first entry. He loved it. I'm still not quite sure how I feel about it, letting him so far into my head. I'm very self-conscious about myself. I've never really let anyone in after my first experience with heartbreak. With betrayal. With Bear though.. it just feels right to let him in. A better man I have never met than Bear. Little by little, I'm opening up to him. Letting him into that deep part of me I keep hidden from everyone else, even from Boots sometimes.

So, I've been looking for something to get him. I've pretty much covered many of the gift bases with the things I have gotten him already. Most memorably the scrapbook and the journal. He's a man of the more.. sentimental value. He always said that if there was a fire and he had to save something, it wouldn't be his computer or his thousand DVD collection. He would save his journals. Those are his memories and worth more to him than anything money could buy. I can only hope our scrapbook has made it onto that list of objects he would save. I know I would.

Which brings me to my main point: the gift I actually bought him. It's a pocket watch. Now I've seen a watch or two in his room but he doesn't have one like this. I asked a few people their opinions and they liked the gift. I asked Boots and she said she wasn't sure because she didnt' know his tastes in watches or if he wore them, and said I should ask Tall Boy. Which of course was a genius idea. He is Bear's best friend after all. I then texted Tall Boy to ask his opinion. He replied that he hadn't really known Bear to wear watches all that often, but knows that Bear would love anything that I got him. I then replied that while it was true the Bear would love anything I gave him, I wanted him to like the item itself, rather than liking it solely because I gave it to him. Tall Boy then said that maybe I'll be the reason for Bear to start wearing watches.

*sigh*

The pocket watch will be here by Monday, which coincidentally is also Valentine's Day. It's a gamble and here's hoping I'll role a 7.

On a different gift note, I'm hoping that my other gift, this one for the both of us, will arrive on Monday as well. I ordered this one two days prior to the pocket watch. Let's just say it's an.. intimate gift for the both of us, teehee.

Procrastinating Responsibilities

It's only a week away from my birthday. Not sure quite yet what I want to do for it. Maybe I'll have a belated party. Last year it was such a huge success. Granted it was combined with my brother cause out birthdays are only a week apart, but it was a lot of fun. I really want to go out though. Wonder what the final verdict will be when my birthday comes. Probably do nothing. Bear, Boots, and Tall Boy all had awesome birthdays. Muse was a celebration for Bear and Boots. Magic Castle was for Tall Boy. On January 30th Bear took me to see Cirque Berzerk, which was fucking awesome. Even took a picture of me with one of the main actors and founder of the bizarre production. Easily one of the most memorable moments I've had with Bear. We have a lot of them though. Must make another scrapbook page. With how much we're building up that scrapbook, I think we'll have several shelves of scrapbooks to come.

Last night Bear and I went to Amoeba in Hollywood. It's one of the largest music retail stores in the United States. Bear came over after he got off work and I drove us to the Metro station in North Hollywood so we could take the subway into Hollywood. Ever since I learned that little trick going to Hollywood has become so much easier now. Fuck paying for parking in Hollywood. Such a rip off and sure we could park on the streets, if I wanted to spent an entire tank of gas looking for a spot. I spent my entire $50 Visa giftcard I won at the crew party on music. Pretty sure I couldn't find a better way to spend that money. I got five new cd's: Nightwish, Opeth, Die Form, Infected Mushroom, and the Burlesque soundtrack. Need to upload them into my iPod. Speaking of, I need a new iPod. My current one doesn't even hold close to half of the music in my library.

That's it for now I suppose. Ciao.

Life Continues

I finally have all of my classes worked out at school. I have a set work availability. Bear is teaching me how to play WoW (World of Warcraft for those of you who are nerd-challenged). My birthday is making it's yearly visit. Life's interesting.

It's the beginning of the third week of classes at school. It's taking me two full weeks to finally set my schedule, but my struggle has not ended. I may have won this battle, but I still have a war to fight.

Bored

My guy and I have the entire day off. He came over and picked me up cause we were going to have breakfast. We (meaning he made and I ate) had pancakes, scrambled eggs, and bacon. We then played on the computer for a bit, he taught me a little more of WoW.. sort of. Half the time I don't know what I'm doing. Mostly because he'll say let me see that a second and then do something and then say there you go. Umm, I have no idea what you just did and I don't know what to do with whatever spell or equipment you gave me, thanks though. I want to do something. Go somewhere. Not be in-fucking-doors. He on the other hand wants to just chill and relax. He may wnat to go out later to a happy hour or something. It's a beautiful day out and I don't know what to do because he works hard and deserves some rest, but I'm not really happy unless I'm doing something.

I understand the need for relaxing, I really do. We went out to hookah last night and just relaxed. Normally the hookah place we go to is pretty good, but last ngiht I was disappointed. I only got one good hit off and a slight buzz from that hit. Met up with some good friends of mine and had late night tacos watching Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring. I only watched a part of it because I fell alseep in Bear's lap on the couch while everyone was watching the movie. Last night was so relaxing. I needed it after the last two weeks I've had. I'm finally done with all the running around I've been doing for school (for the moment at least). I have my class schedule done and now I just need to worry about acing everything. That is my goal. It would really help me in my quest of getting that elusive degree.

I don't really want to tell him I'm unhappy right now, but I'm pretty sure he knows already. He can read me very well. Should I just chill and let him relax or should I nag him and get him to get out of the house? If I do the latter, I have no clue as to what we should do, I just want to get the fuck out. I might just sleep the damned day away and be frustrated. I'll listen to Die Form and read maybe.

Ingenuity and Creativity

I recently discovered a TV show that was only two seasons long. It's fascinating, entrancing, intoxicating.. I'm completely envious of those who created the show and the contents of it.



The Hunger

I admit that the concept of a vampire TV show caught my interest, but it's really not about vampires. Each episode is very different. I can't get enough of it. It's twisted and beautiful. If you're interested, just click the link under the picture :)

It Begins

Oh college classes, the bane of my existence. Don't get my wrong, I think learning is fantastic. The more I learn the better I become. But learning from our current school system? Even at a college level it's ridiculous. I wonder how much people even learn from a system like this.

Oh Oh Pick Me!

I woke up well rested today, though something happened again that is starting to baffle me. When I go to sleep at night, I leave my radio through my blu-ray player on. Because of this, I must leave my TV on so that I can hear said radio. For a few nights now when I have woken up, both electronic devices are turned off. It's not every time I go to sleep with them on, only sometimes. Starting to really weird me out. It also happened once when I went to take a shower. I must have only been out of my room for about 45 mins and when I came back, they were off! So weird.

They day started out well. I lazed around in my room with Lexi. Watched a few episodes of Avatar: The Last Airbender. I'm only on the second book, Earth. I'm really enjoying this series. In fact I may watch another episode before I fall asleep tonight. After that I went to work.

Ah work. The bane of existence for all those who wish to only have fun. Now, when I drive to work I rarely hit traffic. When I drive anywhere, I rarely hit traffic. Today the freeways and streets were PACKED. Good thing that my parents taught me to always leave myself enough time to get to work should something occur that couldn't be planned for. I can get to work and clock on in about 20 minutes, 15 on a really good day. I leave my house 45 minutes early for work. It's a good thing I left myself that 25 minute gap because I nearly needed all of it. I drove, parked, walked, and clocked into work with 2 minutes before I would have been late.

I shall take this moment to thank my Mom and Dad for raising me well.

Upon getting to work I had to figure out real fast how I would proceed with work today. You see, I just joined the crew scheduling team about a month and a half ago. Today would be the first day I would start the process on my own. I didn't do too bad a job, as we began assigning shifts by 2:15pm. I would have liked to be farther along than that, but I think that will just come with practice and a little more planning. By 4:30, we were doing checks to make sure that all the crew had around the same number of days and would have been done had our manager NOT interfered. Last week we had the crew schedule out by 5pm. Our manager even made a point of saying so, I'm sure just doing his best to urge us along. I really just wanted to say, "Look, you want us to be done? Then stop interrupting and let us do the schedule." But I couldn't, so I didn't. He makes too many changes to an already made schedule. I feel like I'm making two different schedules sometimes - ours and his.

I left, or rather was told to go home since we were almost done, at 6:45pm. I was in an impatient mood and there was traffic on the freeway.. at 7pm in the freaking evening! There should be no traffic at this point in the day, but it was on par for the day considering the traffic I ran into in the morning. I went home and chilled for a little, picked up the scrap booking stuff I bought and headed to Bear's. Bear and his family live in a gated community, which means I have to wait at a gate so they can call his house so they make sure he knows I'm coming. With the impatient mood I was in I didn't need the extra 10 minutes sitting in my car waiting to get in when it should have only taken 3 minutes.

Whatever.

When I arrived at Bear's he heated me up some bean stew and let me vent. I hopped up on the counter, ate my soup while sitting up there, and just vented for about 15 minutes. It was just what I needed. Bear always finds a way to cheer me up. Never met a man who can do exactly what I need before I even know I need it before now.

After my venting session we worked on getting pictures together for the continuing scrapbook. I originally made it as a birthday present for him, which he loved. Now we are continuing it with more memories and love. After gathering the pictures we just relaxed and looked through what we had already done. Bear and I.. we have the most wonderful times together. I don't think I've ever been so happy in my life with anyone.

We went downstairs to look for some ice cream or dessert. I was about to dig into the Rocky Road, but I noticed some chocolate fudge bars. I haven't had a fudge bar in years! Bells went off in my head and they went like this - *ding ding ding*

...Wow, sometimes I amuse myself. The really sad thing is that the dings really did go off in head. I have a very strong imagination. Many years ago when my Dad was driving me home from a late soccer practice. I saw someone flick a lit cigarette out the window on the freeway right in front of us. I watched it fly out and land right as we drove over it. My over-active imagination kicked in and I swear I saw our car burst in an explosion from the cigarette somehow making its way into the engine. The visual was so strong that I almost screamed. That would have freaked my dad out.

Anyway, the idea of the fudgescicle sounded better than it tasted. Apparently it was the healthy brand kind. I prefer my unhealthy kind. They taste much better. Aunt Flo also decided to begin her monthly visit. I hate her. Well, I'm glad she's here but I hate what she brings with her. The pain was awful this time around. Bear offered to give me a massage and oh my lord was it amazing. It felt like all the pressure just left from my lower back. Might just have to have him give a massage every time she comes to town.

Time to sleep. Ciao.

What Are You Living For?

I have no writing regimen. I never know when I'm going to write or what I'll write about. The ideas strike me at all hours and if I remember or am near a computer I'll post about it. It also helps if I have no distractions, like chatting on facebook chat or talking on the phone. I want music to be blasting while I write. I'll even sing along in a horrible tone with a song I know the lyrics for. I go on music addictions, show addictions, place addictions.. pretty much any addiction that tickles my fancy. One addiction that I've never understood though is any drug addiction. There is one and only one addiction that I can never quit and frankly I never want to.

Fun. Fun is my addiction.

Dancing and singing to some ridiculous song.

Running in the mud for the purpose of finishing a 10km race.

Kicking the ball around with a bunch of guys and kicking their butts.

Screaming my head off while going through a corkscrew part of a roller-coaster.

Falling on my ass while trying to learn how to roller-skate backwards.

Running around like a madwoman with my three boxers in the backyard.

Biting into a new food Bear cooked for me.

Sitting on a swing, enjoying the weather and nature.

Revisiting a place from my childhood and rediscovering why I loved it so much.

Rocking out to Guitar Hero and Rock Band with my Mom.

Paying $15 to watch old movies in a cemetery in the middle of summer.

Making faces at my niece and listening to her laugh and growl.

Meeting up with family members I haven't talked to in months.

Reconnecting with friends I've made online.

Working on a homemade project for years to come.

Ok, so you get the idea. I love fun. I love how it makes me feel. I love passing that fun onto others. My main goal in life is just that: to have fun and create fun for others. Now, if I could turn that into a successful occupation I'd be set for life!

The actual inspiration for this particular blog was the present I gave to Bear for Christmas. It was a leather bound journal with an ambigram of the word journal on the cover. My parents bought the accompanying pen for him to complete the present. After he opened it his face just lit up and I was so happy he liked it. There was only one thing - he wanted me to make the first journal entry! He had been trying to get my to write in his journal for months now. I prefer the blogging way, but I consented after protesting for a bit. I'm still partly afraid of letting him into the far reaches of my brain, only because I'm still mending. But after all, if it's possible for one person to hurt and break you, then it's possible for another person to come along and put you back together.

So yea, enough of my rambling. Which is what I did in the journal entry for Bear. He loved it. I'm still a little unsure of having written it, but it is what it is. I'm putting myself out there more and more and I have not been disappointed by the results.

Love you, Bear.

Insomnia?

I'm not usually one to lose sleep. In fact, I like sleep. I like it very much. But it seems tonight that it shall elude me until I find a way to fix it. Blogging seemed like something that might amuse me enough to spend some energy on. It's not to arcade blast that I had the other night, but it will have to do.

Nothing much happened today. I woke up and lazed around the house. Had a gigantic bowl of multi-grain cheerios. Cuddled on the couch with my dog, Jax. Watched some early George Carlin stand-up with my Dad. Showered and left for work.

Work was definitely interesting today. First off, I was working the host stand today. I found out that they will be giving me the SUnday shift in the Cafe so I can learn running and bussing as well as be good at hosting. Hosting really isn't so bad. It goes a little something like this:

"Hi."

"Table for (insert number), please."

"What time is your movie?"

"(insert time)."

"Alrighty. Follow me."

*seat the guests*

Complicated right?

Today was excruciatingly slow. There were two football playoff games, a laker game, and the Golden Globes were on tonight. That KILLED our business. Not to mention that it was a nice fraking day outside. Despite the winds gusting up to 75 mph, it was clear, sunny, and 83 degrees. Got to love southern California weather! I swear it's bipolar. Cold, hot, cold, hot, cold, hot... making everyone and their mother sick with colds. Good thing I have an orange tree in the backyard. Nothing beats early cold symptoms like pure vitamin C.

Well, guess my little plan worked. Laying in bed, getting my random thoughts down helped me relax just enough to where I know I can fall asleep. I'd like to thank Orchy and Bear for getting me started on this writing/blogging craze. It's better sleep meds than, well... sleep meds.

Some Things And Some Other Things

I haven't written in awhile, mostly because of the lack of motivation I have to write. I've been thinking about it and well.. I write half for myself and half for whoever decides to read the crap that goes on inside my head. I haven't felt like many people have wanted a peek into the depths of my mind, so I stopped writing for a bit. Now the need to write for myself has overwhelmed the desire to write for you. Yay me!

A few nights ago Bear and I returned to a place neither of us has been to in many years - the arcade. Not an arcade at a bowling alley or at a mall, but an ARCADE. You know.. where everyone only cares about playing the games, having fun, beating the shit out of the other guy, or being the scoreboard leader. Tonight we went back again because I was restless and that small taste from a few nights ago got me a little addicted to going to the arcade again. I wanted to go somewhere that I could let out some energy. Do something that required physical activity. What is physically demanding at an arcade, you ask? (I don't care if you did or not, this is my monologue!) I have three letters for you - DDR. Sad but true, it is one of my favorite arcade games. Ever. Yes, I have the game at home. Yes, it would be cheaper to play at home. But it's a whole different experience. The arcade game is loud, flashy, and the dance mats are exactly what I need to play the game. No one to tell me to turn the music down, no one getting in the way of the TV, and I don't have to focus on not stepping on a dog if they decide to step in my way.

Bear, thanks for taking me. It was a wonderful night and a great $3.50 well spent!

There's a few things I must update on. First up - New Years. I wasn't sure how I was going to spend this past New Years Eve and Day. After some failed attempts to get a hold of some people, other people cancelling, and options running out, I ended up partying with my Mom, Dad, and a bunch of my Mom's friends. We had a blast! I got trashed with my Mom's coworker, we played pool all night, and I didn't get home until about 4:45 in the morning. Now that was a VERY fun time. Unexpected is an understatement of epic proportions. Best New Years party I've been to in many, many years. Oh, and Bear kissed me at midnight. That was the first time that I have ever been kissed at midnight on New Years. I don't have many firsts left, and I'm glad Bear was my first, and hopefully only one, that has kissed me at midnight on New Years.

Two things now that include work. First, I'm going to be starting off the scheduling for the following work week by myself until the others come in two hours later than they normally would. This is the first time I'm going to be kicking things off by myself, so I hope I do better than expected. Next is a situation that happened approximately a week ago. I call it the Shit Day From Hell. There's really no need to go into details, but I can honestly say that it was the single worst day I've had since working at the Dream Factory. So bad in fact, that I even had a mini breakdown. Oh well, if one Shit Day From Hell is all I have to put up with each year, I think I'd like to stay working there for awhile.

Now for the exciting one! While working yesterday, I met one of my favorite comedians and somehow managed to get put on his personal guest list for two tickets to see his show in two weeks! Who is this mystery person, you ask? (Remember, MY monologue!) Christopher Titus. Christopher fucking Titus!! *squealhappydancezomgfalls*

Also, I'm finally off academic probation at school. Yay! Now it's just a matter of crashing classes once again. Fun times.

So, that's an update on my life. I feel better now that I've written all the stuff since New Years. I've been trying to motivate myself to write again, but I guess I just needed a little exercise to get the creative juices flowing! I may have found my inspiration... any kind of physical activity. Preferably something outdoors and away from home. I should exercise more often!