Bored, Bored, Bored

It’s Memorial Day and I’m severely bored.  I was supposed to meet up with Boots but she has family visiting at the moment so that’s kind of on hiatus until further notice.  I hope I get to see her later today before Bear picks me up.  Been watching TV all day on the XBOX.  At home with my parents doing absolutely nothing.  Which I know some people would kill to do, but I’ve been doing just that for three days now.  I’m thinking about just going shopping on my own for awhile.  Boots just texted me saying that she doesn’t need to go the mall anymore, so I don’t know what to do.  She says maybe let’s just go out for margaritas.  Sounds good to me.  I need to be somewhere not here, enjoying myself, and with my best friend.

Late Night Shenanigans

Not exactly seeing straight.  Drinking with Bear, Tall Boy, and Boots tonight.  Bear and I went out to dinner, Tall Boy joined us at dinner for a round of vodka shots.  Boots joined us at the park.  I feel very relaxed and content at the moment.  Am going to go pass out in a minute.  I can already feel my eyes drooping in an effort to make me get rest.  Yay I get to sleep in tomorrow!  I will blog more about my day when I wake up later.  Preview though: I received a compliment from my general manager (I think, I know he was a higher up than my managers), had a crazy day with the Sex and the City 2 madness, my irritation at a situation involving Dreamer, and then a night out with Bear, Tall Boy, and Boots.  All in all, a tremendous end to a long work day.  Cheers!

 

Late Night Synopsis

For the days of 5.26 and 5.27.

On Wednesday I didn't really do anything worthy of noting until I went to work.  Making money is always worthy of noting in a day's accomplishments.  Work was quite busy that night.  Not only was it the midnight opening of Sex and the City 2, but I met Wayne Brady, and witnessed my managers deal with a very drunk man and his wife. 

Meeting Wayne Brady was the beginning of my interesting night at the Dream Factory.  When I exited the elevator to take over my ticket-taking duties, my coworker was like, “Oh, you’re taking over? Sweet, bye!”  He left me standing there not knowing how things were going or if there were any problems I needed to be on watch for.  Some of the guys who work there just don’t seem to be that organized.  In my private life, I have an aversion to organization.  At work, it’s a necessity that I don’t see much of.  What seemed like not a minute later he returned and asked me if I knew who Wayne Brady was.  My reply, “Who DOESN’T know who Wayne Brady is..”  He then proceeded to tell me about the two membership cards that were on the podium belonged to Mr. Brady and that I had to return them to him when he passed by on his way out.  At first I wasn’t sure if I was having a joke played on me, but it turned out to be true.  Luckily it was a very slow night, so I had no trouble spotting him.  He’s a very pleasant man.  We have to be very professional with the celebrities that come through the Dream Factory, so we can’t act all star struck.  I was very pleased that I stayed professional when returning his possessions back to him, while inwardly I was dancing all around yelling “I’m talking to Wayne Brady! OMG Wayne Brady said thank you to ME!  Wayne Brady asked me a question!”  Yes, sometimes I amuse the hell out of myself.  Meeting a celebrity isn’t really that much a deal, they’re people just like me.  They just happen to have a much more interesting job and.. talent that I don’t possess.  Or maybe I do, I just haven’t tried..  I may never know!  Not much later after meeting the very nice Mr. Wayne Brady did I get to be entertained in my small circle at the ticket-taking podium by a drunken guy who apparently could not produce tickets and insisted that OTHER people were sitting in his and his wife’s seats, so my managers had to kick them out.  See, at the Dream Factory we have assigned seating.  I love that about the place.  This lasted for about 45 minutes.  I decent amount of time.  After that there wasn’t much going on until the craziness of the midnight showings of Sex and the City 2.  Good lord, was that nuts!  I think I said “Hello, how are you?” “Tickets please?” and “You’re going to be in House so-and-so that way” about 1,000 times.  I don’t think I’m exaggerating either.  It was fun though.  After I was off the clock I came home around 1:15 AM and wound down by talking with Mom for a bit.  Once I got my stories from the night unloaded onto her, I took Dexter and Lexie to bed with me and slept.  Best way to sleep, have two living heating blankets.  One at my side and one at my feet.  I love my doggies.

Today there really wasn’t much to do.  I tried working on some writing, but have discovered that I am not meant to do any sort of multi-tasking.  It just doesn’t work out for me.  I’m hooked on watching the seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which took up a majority of the day.  It was a day to totally bum it up.  I just cuddled with my doggies, chatted away in the Common Area, and watched my TV series.  I was just biding my time until soccer practice.  I was looking forward to it cause I missed practice on Monday due to work.  It had been drizzling a bit all day, so it was almost perfect soccer playing/practicing weather.  I was in such a good mood.  And my back has been getting better, so I was looking forward to seeing how it would hold up during some contact sport.  Unfortunately I never got to test out my back.  I got to practice on time, which translates into a little early by the teams standards.  Ten minutes passed.  No one had shown up yet which was a little odd because at least two others would have been there by now.  So I called the daughter of the coach to see if practice was still on.  She replied that because it had been raining pretty hard today that there was no practice.  Umm.. raining hard?  Hardly!  Geez, people in southern California get freaked if there’s any chance of rain.  It starts misting and the people around these parts start driving like it’s raining cats and dogs.  Retards.  I was saddened.  I was looking forward to practicing on my long balls and free kicks, as well as doing some running drills and scrimmaging.  I usually don’t look forward to the running aspect of soccer, but I miss it.  It’s an essential part of the game and I wouldn’t miss any of it if I could help it.  Now, maybe not doing as much of running as the professionals, but a little does just fine for me.  I called up Bear because he had mentioned something about getting together tonight.  He came over and helped cheer me up.  He always does.  I think about him and I smile.  Those dreams I had a few nights ago have been on my mind a lot.  I had a friend of mine read them and give me his interpretations of them.  I respect his opinion on these matters and when he told me what he believed them to be about, he hit it right on the nose.  I want to talk to Bear about it since one involves him.  It’s not a bad involvement.  I’m just a little scared because I don’t want to get hurt again.  I said something when bear was over and managed to barely avoid talking about it.  I was being truthful when I told him that my insecurities were showing in the question.  I have no reason to doubt him, but since when have emotions ever been logical?  I’d rather talk to him about it when we’re all alone though.  I tend to cry during discussions about my feelings, whether the feelings are positive or negative, and I don’t want anyone else noticing the red eyes when we’re done.  Bear is right for me, I just need to know I’m right for him.  I guess what I really want to know is if I’m the one for him, but I don’t want to push the subject.  I believe him to be the one for me.  Scary thoughts.  Maybe scary is the wrong word… unnerving maybe?  Still doesn’t exactly feel right.  But I know what I mean.  That’s all that counts, right?

5.25 Wrap Up

Been sitting on this blog for over a day.  Finally got the time to post it.

I met up with Bear and Dreamer today.  Dreamer was supposed to meet me at my house before Bear got off of work, but she neglected to mention the pit stop at the bookstore.  Bear arrived before her.  Poor guy, he’s been worked too hard.  Now he’s been scheduled to work crazy hours to help his store remodel.  Bear keeps saying he should learnt the word no.  I think that makes him special.  He’s like me; he likes to please those around him.  It gets us into trouble sometimes, but I don’t think it really does.  We enjoy helping out others, even if it becomes slightly detrimental to ourselves.  For me, it’s being selfish in it’s seemingly selflessness.  I like to help those around me.  Anyway, Bear was really hungry when he got to my Cellular Station, so called because all my friends say it looks like a cell phone company with all the antennae sticking out from the back and on the roof.  I always giggled when I heard that description. 

Once Dreamer arrived we went to Subway.  Bear satisfied his hunger and then some.  So much for leftovers!  Spaz finally came over.  Oh I had so much fun with having her over!  The four of us went to the store for some alcohol and snacks cause we were going to have ourselves a old fashioned movie night.  We watched The Hangover to get us started and then Ninja Assassin.  Drinks, chocolate and cheddar snacks (not all in one), and went merriment all around.  The night was a fantabulous success and I can’t wait to see Spaz again. 

Had a serious debate with my friend.  He’s in a serious spot emotionally.  I don’t know exactly what to do other than listen.  It’s all I can do and I sometimes feel sad because that really is all I can do.  Moral support person, that’s me. 

Dreams

Normally I don't remember my dreams unless I have a nightmare.  I remember two out of three that I had last night, but they are fading fast. The third one I knew upon waking, but it's lost now. Here goes: 

I was with a good friend of mine, a person who was my brother in the dream, and small child.  We were walking and talking through a type of meadow/forest area.  My friend, who in the dream is a girl, saw a small creek and decided she wanted to go check it out.  At the same time, my brother and the small child disappeared.  I stood at the spot, watching my friend inspect the creek and I knew something was wrong.  The look of sadness on her face was enough to make my heart break.  Then there was something else.  The small pond that my friend was kneeling before changed and my friend jumped in.  At first I thought she was just trying to cheer herself up, but then she kicked farther down below the surface.  Quickly I walked over there, concerned because she had not resurfaced.  No no no no no no I should have known it! She was trying to drown herself, but I couldn't jump in.  I don't know if it was because I couldn't swim or had a barrier between me and the water.  Panicked, I looked around.  My brother and the small child were running towards me.  I screamed what was happening.  My brother dived in to save her.  The child disappeared from the dream entirely now.  It was agony waiting for them to return from the dark waters beneath the surface.  I was shaking with fear.  Finally I saw motion and my brother pulled her from the pond onto the grass, jumping out of the water himself.  I picked her up and ran full out towards our house that was now just 50 yards away.  The doors were open and I put her in her room with my brother on my heels the whole time.  No sign of her breathing.  Again, I couldn't do any CPR.  I knew how, but for whatever reason I froze, too afraid to do anything.  My brother performed CPR on her and she coughed and came back to me.  I'm crying steady streams of tears by now.  Once she was breathing and sitting up, I clung to her with a fierce hug.  She tried to tell me she didn't mean to drown herself, that something pulled her under, but I knew better.  She was lying.  I told her so.  She admitted it.  And we both cried.

That was the first.  I'm still saddened to recall the dream.  The feelings of fear and sorrow are very real, I just don't know where they come from.  The second dream I had I can't recall anymore.  Here is the third:

I'm staying at a house.  It's not my own, but I know I've been living there for a few weeks now.  Not adopted, but taken in, maybe.  I'm sharing a room with a guy.  I know that I care for him very much.  There's a party going on, a BBQ.  I venture outside and see most of the people my age hanging around underneath the big shade trees while the older adults are in the patio.  There's good music and cheer in the air, but something inside me doesn't join the festivities.  I try and make it look that way though.  I wander over to the trees to see who is here and I see my roommate with another girl, she was flirting with him.  Instant heartache and he sensed it somehow.  He looked straight at me after a second or two.  Tears were pooling in my eyes and I tried desperately to not let him see.  I turned quickly and walked.  I don't know if I went in the direction of the house at first or if I went behind the neighbor's wall right away, but there I was with my hands covering my face, trying not to cry over this guy.  In all fairness he hadn't said that he cared for me as more than a friend, but all his actions proved that he did.  Even now, he was searching for me.  I heard it as the party ended.  He was asking people as they left if they had seen me and always the answer was no.  A sense of urgency gripped him as he continued his search for me.  I wouldn't let him find me.  I moved my hiding spot every now and then because I knew he would eventually find where I was hiding.  Night fell.  I was up in the tree at this point.  He never found me and eventually retired to his, our, room.  I stayed there for a few more minutes to gather my courage to enter the house, to enter that room where I knew him to be.  He was watching TV.  I walked in without a word.  The room divider was spread out.  I knew he did that for me so I could change into more comfortable clothes when I returned.  I changed.  It was dark in the room, but there was a light on in the closet.  I walked over there to put a shirt on.  

He called out to me, "Hey, can we talk?"  I froze.  

"Yea," I replied softly.  "Just let me finished getting dressed."

He walked over just as I pulled my shirt over my stomach.  The rest of the actual words in the conversation is forgotten, but the feelings of the conversation remain.  He wanted to know where I had gone.  He was worried.  I remained silent, just staring at him, willing myself not to cry once more.  He knelt down to where I was sitting with my knees drawn up to my chest.  Hands on my shoulders, face inches away he asked again.  Where had I gone?  I didn't answer, only turned my head away so I didn't have to see the fear in his eyes.  Something could have happened to me, didn't I understand that?  Didn't I understand how much I meant to him.  In my head, the truth was no.  I didn't know.  He let me go and I turned my head to see him get something that was at the foot of his bed.  He came back with a small poster board that had something on it.  He revealed just how much I meant to him.  How much he cared for me.  He could never let me go.  

"I've loved you from the moment I met you."  

That is a phrase I still remember.  Whatever acronyms he had created on the poster board, whatever words and meanings he gave them, they didn't matter.  All that mattered was that he told me what I had longed to hear, and I cried.  Cried because there was nothing else I could do.  I loved him, too.  He knelt in front of me and held me while I cried myself into him.  I cried for a very long time.

Those were my dreams.  Not my usual horror nightmares of evil houses and bloody spikes protruding from the ground, but it was a nightmare of a different kind.  

5.24 Wrap Up

Today was a rather dull day.  I accomplished very little and yet am still satisfied with myself.  

Woke up around my normal time of 8:00 in the morning.  Laid in bed with my doggies for a few hours. Played around on my new laptop that my amazing boyfriend, Bear, gave to me.  He is such a sweetheart.  There was a special offer that his work had going on where you could trade in a computer in order to get a discount or something of the like on a new one if purchased at his store.  Apparently there was a woman who wanted to trade in her laptop for a new one, but she was too late as the special offer they were running had already expired.  Well, she let them take her laptop anyway because she had no idea how to fix it nor did she seem to care to want it fixed.  The used laptop had been sitting in the store for awhile and Bear thought of me because I had mentioned on several occasions that I would eventually like a laptop to call my own.  I had been sharing Dreamer's laptop for several weeks now.  He asked his boss if he could have it to fiddle around with.  So he brought it home, cleaned it up, did a little tinkering around on it, installed some delightful programs for me to enjoy, and viola!  New laptop for Bubbles.  I was at a loss for words.  I still am.  

After I managed to drag myself out of my comfortable bed with my doggies all around me, I fed my growling stomach and did some chores that needed to be done.  Strangely it felt nice to just do the humble task of vacuuming.  It was comforting in a way.  I've always liked the task of cleaning up something.  Through doing these I realize I was not meant to multi-task.  Whatever concentration I may have had a grasp on quickly dissipates with the ever mounting distractions.  While doing this I continued to watch the Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV series.  The show is a little old but I had never really watched it when it was on air.  Since my parents have a Netflix account and Mom has her Xbox 360 Live subscription, well, let's just say I've been playing catch up.  Having loved the movie, I wanted to see what the craze was all about.  It's also quite interesting to discover how many people love the Buffy TV series, but have never watched the movie that it was based off of.  Baffling.  Speaking of shows watched on DVD, does anyone know how many seasons of Legend of the Seeker there are? I would very much like to know.  

Getting my fill of TV nonsense, I headed off to work.  I recently acquired a job at a local movie theater.  So far I'm enjoying it.  We'll call it the Dream Factory, for that's the name all the crew members call it.  Attendance was really low, even for a Monday night, so they had to cut some hours.  Which means that I got about three and a half hours worth of work in, but I didn't really mind.  It was the season finale of The Big Bang Theory tonight and I did not want to miss it.  I could have used the cash though.  I’m still waiting on my Dad to tell me how much I owe them.  I’m estimating somewhere around $600-$700.  That’s a long story in itself, though I can create a short version – heartbreak turned into credit card spree.  Enough said.

When I was watching the Finale of Big Bang, my best friend Boots called me and wanted to share some gossip.  She happened to see a picture on Facebook of an ex-boyfriend of mine, ex-friend to her.  Boots was funny.  On some shallow level she was glad I wasn’t together with him anymore because he looked like a pudgy 40 year old balding man. And really, he DID look that way.  In some very, very shallow way I’m glad too.  Also, glad I’m not in love with the bastard anymore.  He ripped my heart out.  I understand that life changes and people change, but I won’t ever forgive that boy.  That’s all he is.  A boy with no understanding of what he has lost. I pray he finds out and regrets his decision for the rest of his natural born life.  Okay, so I’m still bitter.  Who wouldn’t be? 

I woke up a week ago with severe back pain.  I think it’s a pulled muscle, though I’m not sure how I managed to do it. 

Plans for tomorrow!  Seeing Bear, Dreamer, and Spaz!  I haven’t seen Spaz since we graduated from high school together.  I’m so excited.

 

New

Staring at an empty screen waiting to be filled with witty words describing my personal thoughts.  This is going to be a writing project for me.  I've always wanted to write.  Been an avid reader since I was very young and love to make up stories.  One of my fondest memories as a child is laying on my parents bed and listening to my Mom read to me The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe.  I prefer the books to the movies, as usual.  Special effects are great, but nothing compares to the power of the imagination.  Well, the power of the individual imagination I should say.  Movies are one way of bringing the imagination to life for others to see, but it takes the collaboration effort of many.  The creativeness of the individual trumps the creative efforts of many, in my opinion.  I love movies, don't misunderstand, but I love books even more.  

Hmm.. I suppose I should get back to the subject at hand - the reason for this blogs existence.  It is a writing exercise and project for me.  I want to enhance my writing skills as well as improve my vocabulary.  I also need a place where I can be authentic about myself and my thoughts.  Everyone will have nicknames for their real names.  This I got from Dreamer, who should work on her own blog as well.   Why she stopped writing it in is beyond me.  She's very talented when it comes to writing.  

To start off, my name is Bubbles, so called after my "bubbly personality."  The name was given to me seven years ago and it has remained my nickname to this day.  I used to hate it, biting anyone who would dare to call me such.  Today I accept it and I rather enjoy it, too.  It really does describe me.  I'm just your average southern California girl trying to get through life.  Our individual journeys through life are unique and this blog is to help me get through my own.