More Friendship Troubles

I have been feeling lately that something was getting in between Boots and myself. I've been trying to find a time to see her and I know she has tried the same with me, but lately our schedules or previous plans get in the way. Pretty much ever since her birthday and us seeing Muse in concert, we haven't had much time to hang out. It's been three weeks since then. I miss her. She's my best friend. We can talk about anything, share secrets, gossip, and generally have a good time with each other.

Just lately it's been.. distant. And I know I've felt it.

I was texting with her last night and today trying to see if she could come to a board game night I'e orchestrated with Bear. There's going to be lots of family and friends there, more than I had anticipated. That's thanks to Bear. It's sure to be a memorable night. Just wish I wasn't waiting on my camera being shipped for repair right now.

I found out this morning that she can't go because she had to stay home with her younger brother and sister for the night. With the way I had been feeling and the way she worded her response, I knew something was wrong. I asked her if she was mad at me, for whatever reason. If I was wrong I wanted her to tell me. She didn't reply for about two hours, but she was at work so I didn't expect her to answer right away. When she did reply. she said that she was annoyed with me, but didn't say for what reason, so I told her to text me later if she wanted to talk about it.

Generally I'm a nice and happy person. I try my best for my friends and family. Sometimes I try my best for myself. But it seems like it's never enough and I just can't do anything right.

Once again, for the umpteenth time this year, I feel inadequate.

Losing one friend who is like a sister to me is one time too many in a lifetime, I don't think I can handle another one.