Nightmare Weekend And It's End

This past weekend was, for better or worse, a nightmare. Only thing that made me sane was a slight breakdown and a visit to Bear's.

Saturday night was a freaking nightmare at work. Every single show of the Social network was 97% full and as I predicted I was going to close concessions. Two of us clocked on at 6pm. I was closing at 2:30am and my coworker was scheduled until 1am. It all started when we had to take our breaks two and a half hours into our shifts, one after the other. I figured since I was getting off work an hour and a half later than him, logically I should take mine second, but we got into a small argument over it and I ended up taking mine first. Whatever. I got back from break and we were slammed for three hours straight. Supposedly for a set like what was going in at that time we were supposed to have all 16 registers open. We had seven. We even had someone call out that night who was supposed to be our PA, which is the person who is "point accountable". Yaaaaaaaaaaay, fun times.. *sigh*

My coworker and I worked our asses off to close the concession stand somewhat early, it was 1:45 by the time I was completely finished. I thought I was done, boy was I wrong. I had to make some caramel corn for the next day because we were completely out. I worked until 2:40am. Made a bag and a half of caramel corn. Most people would have only make half a bag, if that. I felt like I worked two shifts into one. I mean, we all get kicked around during our shifts. We seat, porter, run in concessions, work 3D.. sometimes all in the same shift. But with the amount of work I put into, well... work that night I felt like I had shoved a 16 hour shift into one eight hour shift. I came home drenched in sweat, so tired I was having trouble driving, which isn't a good thing. I was safe and everything, just tired.

When I got home I called Bear. I just needed to hear a friendly voice, some compassion. I was so frustrated I cried. I'm trying so hard to get my life together. Sometimes I feel as if it's not worth it, no one really cares if I do well, they only care when I mess up. At least it feels like that. Anyway, we've had plans to get together for lunch on Sunday. I needed it, needed to see him. Just to feel him hold me, to be near him. I cried myself to sleep that night.

I woke up on Sunday and I felt like shit. I needed to wash my work clothes, I needed to shower, I was at ends with my mom.. I just wanted to crawl back under the covers and hide from the world. After I finished my washing my uniform, showered, and got everything together I left for Bear's. Only on the way there I realized I left my freaking work shoes at home. It was a good thing home was on the way to work from Bear's house. I got to Bear's and the first thing I did was walk in the door and give him a kiss. Then I fell into the circle of his arms and stayed there for minutes on end. I needed this, this right here. To be held and feel like I mattered to anyone, someone. I cried, this time because I felt a warm wave of happiness through me.

"You have no idea how much I just wanted to do this last night, just hold you in my arms."

I cried a little more when he said that. Just to feel as if I'm special to someone, that I belong somewhere, and that somewhere was right there, in his arms, holding me close to his heart. I once read that we all have two eyes, two ears, two hands, two sides of a brain.. but only one heart. Our main focus in this world, whether you believe it or not, is to find the other heart that belongs with yours. I think I found mine. We stayed like that, just embracing for awhile. We then heated up leftover pizza and ate. Then we went up to his room and just laid there for awhile, chatting about random things. Whatever popped into our heads.

And yes, it did lead to some happy time, but it was needed. We were both dealing with stressful times.

I was happy after that and not just because of that. It was because of the emotion that went into it. The sincerity of those feelings. Everything done is an expression because of the extent of our love for one another.

Alright, enough sappiness from me.

Last night we went to go see Easy A. It was me, Bear, and Dreamer. The movie was HYSTERICAL. Definitely one I will go see again. I need to take my mom to see it after all.

That's it for now I suppose. I have work again tonight. I wonder what I'll be doing? It's a 5-10 shift, so most likely concessions once again.

Ciao.